Naruto Uzumaki and the Sorcerer's Breasts
by saskura-chan
Summary: A random Crack fic in Harry Potter form with No harry potter characters. Written by SaskuraChan and Crack God. Full sum inside. so read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Naruto Uzumaki and the Sorcerer's Breasts 

Co-written by: Crack God

Also co-written by: Saskura-Chan

Typed by: Saskura-Chan

Edited by: Crack God

Main story/idea by: Crack God

Obscene idiocies/ gross and disgusting unimportant ideas mostly done by: Saskura-Chan

Intentional ripping apart of important people and or inanimate objects and or story lines done by: Saskura-Chan

Big words by: Crack God

**Summery:** Naruto Uzumaki has never been the star of a Bitchball team, scoring homeruns while riding a bitch high above the ground. He knows no jutsus, has never helped to hatch a horny toad, and has never worn a clock of sexyness. All he knows is a high calorie life with the Akimichi's, a food obsessed family. Naruto's life is about to change when he gets a letter from a pigeon inviting him to HiddenWarts.

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto or Harry Potter, we did not use any Harry Potter characters but we did rip-off the story layout and did our best to fuck it up. (Saskura-Chan: though if I had Sasuke in a closet…) BUT this really fucked up idea is ours, (Saskura-Chan: But the scar idea is mine!) (Crack God: sure it was) (Saskura-Chan: It was I who pitched the idea to you while you were eating ramen and I almost killed you…accidentally of course) (Crack God: hm…Oh yeah, now I remember…) (Saskura-Chan: Oh shit someone has to go get the dogs) (Crack God: Seriously?) (Saskura-Chan: it's a 104 degrees outside and they're frying) (Crack God…Shit)

**Chapter One (Chapter 1)**

**Chapter Title: The Fox Who Lived**

Mr. and Mrs. Akimichi, of number 4, Pleasantly Plump Drive, were proud to say they were pleasantly plump, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in any religious fasting, because they just couldn't hold with such nonsense.

Mr. Akimichi was the director for a firm called ButterBalls, which made hard pretzel sticks and other eatable objects of the sort. He was an enormous, beefy, plump, and huge man with hardly any room left in his house. Mrs. Akimichi was twice his size, with blonde hair, who was 8 and a half feet tall, which came in very useful when spying on the neighbors. The Akimichi's had a young, but really big, son whose name was Choji and in their opinion there was no plumper child in the world.

The Akimichi's had all the food they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that someone would confront them with **_IT_**. Their greatest fear was…broccoli. They couldn't bear if somebody found out about it.

When Mr. and Mrs. Akimichi woke up on a biscuit-less Tuesday, our fanfic starts. There was nothing about the dark, unyouthful (prior Gai sensei) rain clouds outside to suggest that youthful things would soon be happening all over the town. Mr. Akimichi sang 'ButterBalls I'm coming for you' as he picked out his least stained tie, and Mrs. Akimichi cursed heavily as she burned much needed (saskura-Chan: Right…) calories stepping out of bed.

None of them noticed a large pidgin fly past their window.

Mr. Akimichi went to work. Weird things happened at work. He heard people speaking of fish cakes. What was more disturbing was their choice of clothing; orange track suits. After a long hard day of work Mr. Akimichi returned home and told his wife about the incidents and she became increasingly hungry.

After each eating as much as a large whale the Akimichi's went to sleep unaware of what was happening that night. For sitting on a stump in the Akimichi garden was not a garden gnome but a toad, with a playboy magazine. From the other end of the street an old hag appeared, but not just any ordinary hag but a hag with huge breast(s). She also had blonde hair and brown eyes but that was unimportant because her jugs were huge!

She glanced at the toad with a disgusted look on her face. "Jiraiya, you damn pervert." She then did some really cool hand signs and the lights on the street went out. Then she walked over to the toad whom by now had turned into an old gray hermit. "Why the hell are you here Jiraiya sensei?"

"How did you know it was I?"

"The playboy."

"Very clever."

"Are you stiff yet?"

"I've been sitting like a garden gnome for 9 hours."

"All day? When there was a strip club on the corner?"

The wind blew across the drive. Jiraiya stood up, stretched and placed his magazine in his pocket. "I've been banned from the one on the corner." Jiraiya yawned. "So what really happened with the fox?"

"Gai and Kakashi are bringing his vessel and the boy's brother." As soon as Tsuande spoke the flapping of book pages and a flying turtle could be heard. Yes, that's right, a flying turtle. And if you're wondering what a flying turtle sounds like, it sounds like a flying turtle. Or does it?

Soon a silver haired man wearing a mask appeared, riding a giant copy of a book titled 'Make out Paradise' that just so happened to be levitating as well as moving. He looked fairly young, around the age of 14. Beside him was a giant turtle, yes the flying turtle, that was carrying another man. This man wore green spandex and had a soup-bowl haircut as well as very bushy eyebrows. Both of the men had a wrapped object carefully in their hands.

"Ah, Kakashi sensei," the old hag spoke to the silver haired man. "And I see you brought your damn book with you."

"Hey!" Kakashi whined. "I just got it a few days ago and I want to finish it!"

"Never fear, for the power of youth is here!" Gai sensei, the other man, youthfully exclaimed. Upon saying the words, cute little rabbits magically appeared, as well as mini rainbows and everything else of youth.

"So then, I assume the two are ready?" the hag asked.

"Yes, but the one who is now the vessel to the beast has gotten a really strangely shaped scar on his forehead," Kakashi replied.

"And what shape is it?" Jiraiya asked.

"Well, it's shaped like a penis, to put it bluntly," Kakashi answered. "I just hope that these Akimichi fellows don't find it too inappropriate. I heard that the have another kid already."

"Hmm, quite interesting," the hag stated. "At least he'll have his brother to defend him."

"Or the Akimichis might accidentally eat him," Jiraiya mumbled.

"Well, about that…" Gai said.

"What is it now, Gai sensei?" Jiraiya impatiently questioned.

"Well, I was wondering if I could keep his brother," Gai spoke. "His eyes are just too youthful!"

The hag and Jiraiya walked over to Gai sensei, who unwrapped the object in his arms. It was a baby boy with black hair, about one and half years old.

"Gai, he has bug eyes," the hag spoke.

"So can I please keep him! I promise to feed and water him everyday and I'll even walk him!" Gai sensei exclaimed.

"Well, he can't be separated from his brother," the hag answered. "But the house next door is for sale. I suggest you buy it if you want to keep the boy. He and his brother should have some sort of interaction, even if they don't find out that they are related."

"Thank you so much!" Gai youthfully exclaimed. "I promise I'll transform this town into the essence of youth!"

Then the hag walked over to Kakashi, who unwrapped his object. It too was a baby boy, though this one was considerably younger than the other was. He had blonde hair, a spiral shaped seal on his stomach, and sure enough, a scar on his forehead in the shape of a penis.

"So, how exactly are these two boys related to the Akimichi name?" Kakashi asked the hag.

The hag took out a piece of paper from her bra and read it. "Well, their uncle's mother's step son's aunt's father's cousin twice removed sister's neighbors' cats' friends pet mouse's cheeses connections is Akimichi."

"So basically they're not related." Kakashi sweat dropped.

"If you wish to put it that way, then yes." The hag replied.

"Then why bring him here?" Kakashi asked.

"I figured there'd be an abundance of food." The hag shrugged. "Any more questions?"

"Yeah, are those real?" Kakashi pointed at her chest.

The hag smashed Kakashi in the head and he was sent flying far, far away.

The hag picked up Kakashi's bundle and placed it on the Akimichi's doorstep with a giant orange flag, so that hopefully he wouldn't get stepped on the next morning. Next to the flag the hag placed an envelope that just so happened to have a letter in it.

_Dear Mr. And Mrs. Akimichi,_

_I leave his young child in you care in the hope that he will get the nutrition he greatly needs. His name is Naruto Uzumaki and he is the fox boy who lived._

Good luck 

_-Tsuande_

_P.S. Please don't eat him._

A breeze ruffed the food filled bushes of Pleasantly Plump Drive, which lay slightly disturbed under the now youthful night sky, the very last place you'd expect people to go hungry. Naruto Uzumaki rolled inside his blankets without waking up. One small-future-loving-ramen hand closed on the letter beside him and he snored on, not knowing he would probably be trampled to death in a few hours by Mrs. Akimichi's gigantic feet when she heard the ice-cream truck in the morning, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being squished, and smothered by Choji, whom he had no relation to. And this is how this fanfic starts and if you read it you better review it.


	2. The Breaking Glass

Naruto Uzumaki and the Sorcerers Breast 

**Written by: **Saskura-Chan AND Crack God

**Edited by:** Crack God (screw editing! Not today!)

**Typed by:** Me (a.k.a. Saskura-Chan)

**Disclaimer:** We no owny

**Saskura-Chan:** Damn-it I just accidentally deleted chapter 2 so now I have to retype it and Crack God ain't happy so here we go.

Chapter 2: The Breaking Glass 

Nearly 11 years had gone by since the Akimichis had awoken to find their cheese connection mouse's, friend's, pet cat's neighbor's, sister's, cousins twice removed, father's, aunt's, step son's, mother's, uncle's child on their door step, but Pleasantly Plump Drive has hardly changed since. The sun rouse on the same food filled front yard and illuminated the _orange_ (yummm….) number 4 on the Akimichi's front door; It penetrated into the food filled living room complete with flavored wall paper. Which was even more food filled than it had been on the night when the fox boy had been dropped on their doorstep. Only the photographs of people eating on the mantelpiece of the fireplace showed how much time had really passed. Eleven years ago there were tones of pictures of what looked like a large baby elephant wearing different colored bonnets – but Choji Akimichi was no longer a toddler, and now the photographs showed what appeared to be an adult elephant and usually ramen all over the floor, play a video game with his father and a thin boy with ramen in the background, and being hugged and slobbered on by his eating mother with to no surprise a blonde boy in the background eating ramen. The room held signs of there being a disturbance in the force… a.k.a. the Akimichi household.

Yet Naruto Uzumaki was dreaming of Ramen, for the moment happy, but not for long. Mrs. Akimichi was awake and it was her hungry wale that made the first disturbance of the morning.

"Up- get up- RIGHT NOW- You have to eat!"

Naruto woke after being forcefully torn from his ramen in his dream. Mrs. Akimichi turned on the stereo and listened to rap music. Then she knocked on Naruto's door again. "FOOOOOOOOOD! YOU MUST EAT BEFORE PEOPLE THINK WE ARE STARVING YOU!"

Naruto heard her walk to the kitchen, open the fridge door, inhale everything in it, and then put about 25.4 frying pans on the stove. Naruto salivated about his ramen dream a little longer. There had also been another dream. There had been a flying book and turtle in it.

Mrs. Akimichi was back outside the door. "Are you awake yet!" She mumbled with a face full of food.

"Ramen!" Naruto exclaimed.

Mrs. Akimichi rolled her eyes. "Well, start moving your little mouth because you have to EAT!" she said with a roll in her mouth. "I want you to look after the chickens in the back yard, I don't want them running away again like last night!"

Naruto groaned before he looked at the poster of ramen on his door and soon was ready to do anything.

"Hurry up- Its Choji's birthday!"

Choji's Birthday – how could he of forgotten? After all Choji's birthday was about as big as his parents, put together, and then multiplied. Naruto got up out of bed and started looking for his emergency stash of ramen. After 4 packages were located Naruto popped them into is microwave in his room. Naruto loved ramen, there was no logical reason for it, but he slept with it, dreamt about it, talked to it, bathed with it… and ate it.

When Naruto was fully clothed (after all he is Japanese and they do tend to sleep in the nude) and done eating his ramen Naruto made his way to the kitchen, where the chicken farm just so happened to be located. The table next to the chicken coop was full of Choji's birthday presents. It looked like Choji had gotten the 50-pound ham he'd had wanted, not to mention the car sized bag of cracker jacks and a giant butterfly catching net complete with a licorice handle. Exactly why Choji wanted a butterfly net was a mystery, after all he hated small spaces (A/N: by the way Choji means 'butterfly' in Japanese).

Natruto was a blonde boy, in mental power and hair color. He was short for his age and had an absurd habit of wearing day-glo orange track suits and wanted to be a ninja. But the most interesting thing about him was a penis shaped scare on his forehead that his hair usually covered up. He had, had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could remember asking Mrs. Akimichi was what it was shaped as.

"It's a penis."

"What's a penis?"

"Its something you learn about in sex ed."

"What's sex ed?"

"You'll find out later."

To this day Naruto still did not know the answer.

Naruto was watching the chickens when Choji walked in. Choji was… pleasantly plumb to a degree of serious question on how much he was being fed. On his head was a pink party hat. He would have been parading around if he weren't too much afraid of burning too many precious calories. He- like Naruto- wanted to become a ninja.

"Choji, hurry up and get out side to have your birthday feast!" Mr. Akimichi exclaimed from in the back yard. "And Naruto, catch five chickens and bring them out here!"

Choji clumsily rushed out the door, leaving Naruto to fend against the chickens all by himself. After catching one he would stuff it in pants and hurry to get another one.

"Okay, let' see…" Naruto mumbled to himself. "How many chickens are in my pants? One, two, three, seven, one hundred seventy-five, one million five hundred sixty-six thousand two hundred eighty-seven and three tenths, five! Yep, I got all five of them!"

With that he waddled outside. His next door neighbors seemed to be out as well. They were strange fellows, both wearing green spandex jumpsuits. But as soon as Naruto had gotten outside they hopped into their SUV and disappeared down the street.

"Naruto! Get those chickens out of your pants!" Mrs. Akimichi exclaimed. "And why are there only two? We asked for five!"

On the other side of the table Mr. Akimichi was patting Choji on the head for eating his whole birthday cake in one mouth full when Choji's mouth 'accidentally' wrapped around his fathers hand and bit if off.

After much screaming, much-needed calories being burned, and Choji's mid morning nap the Akimichi's and Naruto made their way to the hospital. At the hospital they had to retrieve Mr. Akimichi's hand from Choji's stomach and sew it back on. While they were at the hospital they ran into their neighbor's Gai and Lee. After a brief unwanted conversation it was confirmed that they were undergoing the lazer hair retrieval surgery to help their eyebrows become more bushier. Where the hair was being retrieved from was not found out for the doctor released Mr. Akimichi at that moment and the Akimichi's and Naruto rushed to the all you can eat afternoon buffet before it was over at 2 o'clock.

At the buffet Naruto had 18 bowels ramen and received a sever headache from Mrs. Akimichi for not eating more. Mr. Akimichi ate the whole buffet and what was believed to be a waitress but he maintained the belief it was a hairy drumstick. Choji tried to eat his fathers hand again but after the 14th attempt everyone moved away from him. After they ate it was time for a trip to the zoo.

"Mother my are we going to the zoo?" Choji asked.

"To visit Aunt Pujelly." Mrs. Akimichi answered.

"Does Aunt Pujelly work at the Zoo?" Naruto asked

"No."

"Why?"

"Well," Mr. Akimichi started as he got into the conversation. "The zoo is keeping her on display in the walrus exhibit and won't release her with out a court notice."

"Why don't you have a court notice?" Choji questioned.

"Well they had a zoologist claim she was a new species for walrus." Mrs. Akimichi informed.

As they rounded the elephant exhibit they saw an elephant that was remarkably similar to Uncle Fred McFrankishuge but it was soon brushed off. When they reached the walrus exhibit Mrs. Akimichi ran over to the largest walrus. "Sister!" She exclaimed.

"Hello Auntie." Choji said as he prepared to give her a hug before he was abruptly stopped.

"Keep all limbs out of mouth range darling." Mrs. Akimichi warned.

After a boring conversation about zoo caretakers and the previous week walrus attack, Naruto and Choji decided to shrink away which wasn't much of a problem for Naruto though for Choji it could have been worse. They found themselves wandering around the amphibian exhibit.

When they came across a really large and fat toad that challenged Choji's size they just had to stop and gape. Choji had even gotten too close to the glass and while leaning on it he managed to break it. The glass shattered everywhere and the giant toad tried to eat Choji though after a few minutes he spat him back up again claming he didn't like to eat things that were larger than him. Naruto and the toad had a lovely conversation before he hopped away.

The exhibit director was apologizing for the misshape while in the background car sirens were going off and if you really strained your ears you could hear a chain saw way off in the distance. But what really rattled the exhibit director was that fact that the glass what supposed to hold 300 pounds yet it didn't.

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**A/N's:**

**Saskura-Chan:** And thata be chapter two, it was short, yes, but Crack God was too much of a Lazy ass to help with the last like page tho he did give me a name for their uncle. So considering Crack God is such a Lazy ass I'd like to thank all the reviews we got, whether they were the people from my other fics or Crack Gods other fics that we sicked onto this one, or if you're new to Crack God and my writing **THANK YOU** for reading and reviewing. Just don't forget to review this chapter. Also if you are new to our fics you should check out My Sensei's a Pervert by me, and Crack God's fic Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers. Those fics are really messed up like this one is and will continue to be so check them out.

**Crack God:** Hn…. Please review and continue to read.  You, too, read-n-review.

**NEXT WEEK:**

Chapter 3:Letters From Someone 

Just like in the real Harry Potter book Naruto will get letters BUT instead of Letters form No one they will be from someone.

Review and Check out our others fics!


	3. Letters form Someone

Naruto Uzumaki and the Sorcerer's Breasts 

**Written by**: Crack God AND Saskura-Chan

**Typed by**: Sakura-Chan

**Edited by:** Crack God

**Standard disclaimer applies **

**A/N:**

**Saskura-Chan:** Wow the last chapter was…weird.

**Crack God**: hn

**Saskura-Chan:** Lazy Bitch, well this chapter will be short cuz I can't think of anything to make it really long and Crack God is a Lazy Bitch.

Chapter 3: Letters From Someone 

The escape of the giant toad had caused mass mayhem and an attempted diet that lasted for no more than 3 minutes. By the time the insanity ceased (their new diet ended) Choji had already eaten his 50-lbs ham, gotten trapped in his butterfly net 8 times, and attempted to eat the green spandex off the neighbors next door.

But when all was said and eaten the Akimichi's and Naruto played a heated game of Monopoly Food Addition. Naruto was a bowl of Ramen, Choji was a butcher's knife, Mrs. Akimichi was a drumstick, and Mr. Akimichi was a burger.

"Beat that Bitches!" Naruto exclaimed as he finished buying all of Ramen Avenue. Now Naruto owned Beef Ramen, Chicken Ramen, and Mystery Ramen.

"But I own Pork town!" Mr. Akimichi shirked as he landed on Living pig and bought it. "Now I have Dead Pig, Decapitated Pig, and Living Pig, so YOU beat that blonde bitch!"

Next it was Choji's turn; he rolled a two and landed on a Change Diet square. Hesitantly he drew a card and read it out load. "You have just changed your diet and you're body has had severe gas. You suffocated and died. You Lose." Choji stared at the card for a moment. "Well this sucks, I'm going to go take a nap."

Just then the mail came. "Naruto go get the mail." Mr. Akimichi ordered.

"Ramen!" Naruto exploded as he ran to the door, but then abruptly stopped. "Make Choji get it!"

"Throw your little butcher knife at him, Choji," Mr. Akimichi ordered. Choji pleasantly obeyed, having already died in Monopoly.

Naruto skillfully dodged the butcher knife by leaping like a little ballerina in a pink tutu… okay, okay, so Naruto really DIDN'T dodge it, but it still was pretty humorous to watch. After whining about a supposedly broken nose, Naruto went to collect the mail.

On the drab brown mat under the mail slot were three items.

One was a postcard form Mr. Akimichi's sister, who was vacationing on Weight loss Isle. She had left two years ago to go to the Isle to participate in a game show to lose weight, but since she had never slimmed down enough she was forced to stay on the island for the last four seasons of the show. Sadly, she went in at 357 pounds and to this date she weighs 589 pounds. Authorities believe she has eaten the missing local blue whale, Jimmy, but since we couldn't find Jimmy to talk with him for an interview we may never know.

The second item was the yellow envelope. Yep, THE yellow envelope. The evil, vile yellow envelope that billed the family precisely $7,892 every week for stealing chickens, pigs, and cows from the farm across the street. Naruto sighed and ran it through the paper shredder that was conveniently placed two inches away.

Then the last and final envelope was addressed to Choji and himself. "Hey guys me and Choji have a letter from Someone."

"Are you sure it's not a letter from no one?" Mr. Akimichi asked as he nibbled on his burger monopoly piece.

"No it's from Someone." Naruto blandly said as he walked into the game room with the post card and the letter from Someone.

"Let me see that." Mr. Akimichi demanded as he made a grab for the mail.

"RAMEN!" Naruto shirked as Mr. Akimichi grabbed the mail and got into a tug-o-war with Naruto and the mail…ripped.

The letter from someone fell to the floor and was eaten by a very large and well-fed rat that lived under the floor. But before the letter was consumed the return address was seen and it read "Hidden Warts Ninja Academy."

For one moment the family watched the rat as is slowly trudged across the floor and with great difficulty squeezed into a hole in the wall next to the fridge.

"Well that was interesting." Naruto blinked.

"I'm going to take another nap." Choji grumbled.

**Saskura-chan's friend: yes, you don't know me. I am shrouded in mystery….but my sensei, Saskura-chan ordered me to write this for her because she's a lazy bitch and would rather chat on MSN at 2 o'clock in the morning instead of considering her readers and my health. Yes, this fact is true…but I have turkey! And both me and Saskura-chan have been eating a pot full of recies pieces and other assortments of candy. Don't worry, tomorrow she'll be sick and die…but she'll live.**

**Sincerely,**

**Saskura-chan's friend whom she is leaching the internet from bacuase her mom got rid of their systems..….**

**AKA Jr. The Red Dragon**

**Famous quote of the : My stomach hurts, I think I ate too much. Now somebody pass me the Doritoes!!! written by Saskura-chan!**

**YAY CANDY HIGH!!!!! MORE SUGAR FOR THE HOMELESS!!! **

**PEOPLE WHO REVIEW ET SOME LEFTOVER REICES PIECES!! We let some fall on the floor…!!**


	4. Chapter 3 12 to 4

**Naruto Uzumaki and the Sorceress Breast(s)**

**A/N:**

Saskura-Chan: Well its 6:15 on December 24th and I'm trying to get this typed up so I can post it in time for Christmas. I do have to warn you, this chapter I didn't write Crack God did and I'm just typing it but I will add new things to it. So without further ado! La next chapter(s)

Chapter 3.5: Lost in a Secret World 

"Hummm…." Mr. Akimichi pondered while snacking on crackers. "Since when were the rats in this house that fat…I wonder if I could barbecue them…"

"I want my letter!" Naruto whined while eating ramen.

"Mommy I want a pony for Christmas." Choji mumbled in his sleep.

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The fat rat made his way under the foundation of the Akimichi's house. The rat (named Jim) soon disappeared and entered the secret world.

The world of the my little ponies

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The following night, Mr. Akimichi did something he never did before; he squeezed his way through the floor boards (at least he attempted to but needless to say it didn't quite work out to well…and I can't imagine why…) so he could catch the rat and barbecue it. After using a chain saw to cut a small hole about half the size of the kitchen.

He crawled and sprawled and squeezed (but still had to inhale) and even sneezed in his attempt to get under the floorboards. After 8 hours off wondering around under his house Mr. Akimichi saw it.

The Pink door.

Mr. Akimichi turned the doors handle and slipped through the opening…

"Who's there."

"Who's there?"

"Who's there?"

"Who's there?"

Several kutsy-wootsy voices asked.

"It's the fat man, I think, and me think he came alone…" Another voice said.

Mr. Akimichi couldn't see anything as the room was filled with a really bright pink light. Then they stepped through the light and showed themselves. Hundreds upon hundreds of my little ponies in various shades of the rainbow appeared.

"Would you like to have dinner with us dear sir?" One asked batting its eyelashes creepishly.

"We have lollipops, candy canes, and licorice."

"Join us, Join us!"

"Join us!"

"JOIN US!"

And thus Mr. Akimichi was hog-tied and held captive under his house where for no real apparent reason a magical secret society of My Little Ponies lived.

Chapter 3.75: The Rats Overpower 

While Mr. Akimichi was being held captive Mrs. Akimichi, Choji, and Naruto were left to face a problem of epic proportions. One, the hole in the kitchen floor made it almost impossible to make it to the fridge and two, without anyone to step on them the rats that lived under the house had decided to rebel.

There was to many rats to the three were forced to seek refuge in New Mexico where there dear friends the Nara's lived.

So they hopped into the car and drove. And drove. And drove some more. Hell, they even stopped in the middle of a highway when they got lost to catch their bearings. Needless to say they were almost ran over by several moving vehicles. They however did eventually make it to New Mexico.

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Meanwhile, the Akimichi estate was being over run by the rats and they where having a strip party. Now since the rats didn't have there own clothes to take off they had gotten into Mrs. Akimichi's underwear and currently were stripping to "Shake That" by Eminem.

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Naruto loudly knocked on the Nara's front door. No one answered so he resorted to loud obnoxious noises in the hopes that their presence would be known.

After half an hour of Naruto's mouth gurgling/car alarm impersonation, yelling could be heard form inside the house.

"ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR!" A male's voice echoed.

"But it's too troublesome." A boy's voice responded.

CRASH!

A young boy, the same age as Choji and Naruto, was sent flying from the second story window. Luckily he landed on Choji whose body fat destiny was similar to a balloon and saved the boy from certain death…

"Oh, its you Choji." The boy lazily spoke, miraculously unscathed and half-asleep.

"SHIKAMARU!" Choji exclaimed.

And thus Choji, Naruto and Mrs. Akimichi stayed at the Nara's house for a while.

Chapter 4: Keeper of the books 

One rainy/cloudy night a familiar masked figure approached the steps of the Nara house.

BOOM!

The man knocked on the front door. Choji jerked out of his dream about food and shouted, "Where's the bologna?!?" Choji had been sleeping on the couch because Shikamaru was too lazy to clean his room and now it was uninhabitable. In the corner Naruto and Shikamaru still slept.

Another Bangish noise sounded and Naruto was also jerked from sleep only he shouted, "RAMEN!" which in turn woke Shikamaru and he shouted.

"BOOBS!"

For one moment the situation with the man at the door who possibly had a chainsaw was forgotten as Choji and Naruto blankly stared at Shikamaru. But the moment was soon lost as Mr. Nara (Shikamaru's pops) came sliding into the room with a hunting riffle and no clothes on.

"WHOSE THERE?" Mr. Nara roared.

And then there was another CRACK was heard and the door split like a toothpick.

"Who's there?" Mr. Nara now questioned now with a lower voice and attempting to cover himself up with his gun.

"It is I!" A bland voice unenthusiastically replied.

Shikamaru feel back asleep 3 minutes later as an awkward silence filled the room.

"Is it just me or is it cold in here." Mr. Nara stated as his eyes darted around the room still trying to cover his nude body up with the gun.

"Actually I think its just you." The masked man said. There was another silence before he continued. "So who wants to be a ninja?"

A/N:

Saskura-Chan: I took a rather long brake and now I am done and its 11:35 Christmas eave, not that anyone gives a fuck.

Next Chapter:

Chapter 5:

Something about people going to some place to by shit for school.

Now fucking review or else I'll never fucking type anything 20 fucking minutes before midnight again.


End file.
